A 16 Month Old Made Me Feel Old Today

Today is Sunday – kind of my mellowing down time.  It’s the end of one week and I feel like I’m gearing up for yet another one.  It’s going to be a busy week too.  I have a job interview tomorrow for a part time position at a Medical center where they sell medical supplies.  They were looking for someone in the office and I applied.  I wasn’t really expecting a call because after I applied they sent me some information and part of the information said the job entailed sales.  I emailed him back and told him I wasn’t interested in sales but if he has just an office position available, I’d be interested.  He thanked me and I thought that was it.  A couple of hours later he called me!  He told me that was a generic letter and they’re still interested in interviewing me.  I viewed their website and I’m actually very interested in this position.  I’m not really looking for a full time job because I like the one I have with H&R Block, but it’s only seasonal and we could really use the extra money.

Then Amy has her appointment with her counselor on Tuesday.  Now that school is over, she seems to be such a different person.  She’s bubblier, easier to get along with.  I think she’s still having issues with food and her sometimes inability to control her binges, but the last few days she’s been getting better – with the nicer weather she gets up now and goes for a very long walk.  Of course, I can’t rest until she’s back in the house – sometimes she’s gone and it’s dark out.

Wednesday I have a meeting with the unemployment people.  Because I’m on EI (employment insurance) due to my seasonal job, I have to attend this ‘meeting’ – it’s a new thing.  It’s suppose to be more difficult to get on EI next year so this is why the job interview tomorrow – I’m trying to secure myself in another job just in case – I’m really trying to get John and I set up for retirement.  We only have another 20 years and, although that seems like a long time, it’s really not.  I mean look how fast the kids grew!  I was hoping once the kids were gone, he and I could do some traveling WITHOUT them.

Today was a fun day.  I went babysitting for the lady Amy usually babysits for.  What an eye opener THAT was!  The little boy was 16 months old and busy.  I first got there and he was a little bit upset because his mom was leaving, but he settled down rather quickly.  I didn’t realize how old I was getting until I had to change his bum.  I grabbed his diaper and baby wipes and brought him over to the floor.  Then I got down on the floor, forgetting about the arthritis in my knee so that hurt a lot.  He wiggled around and wouldn’t let me finish cleaning him – he had quite the surprise for me in there!  I am SO much more used to changing girls than boys .. there seems to be much more to clean on a boy.  Anyway, then I went to get back up and the pain in my knee was beyond.

I was only two hours into my duties and I was exhausted.  I didn’t really do anything – walked into the kitchen and got him a bottle, chased him away from the craft stuff in there.  I had to get up when he grabbed a picture off the wall because he found the thumb tack that was used to hold it.  I had to put the dog out because he got all whiny and stuff.  I was actually ready for my own nap!

He asked for his ‘baba’ and I thought it would be a great opportunity to put him down for a nap.  He had no problems going down for his nap – thank God!  I tidied up a bit and had a rest on the sofa – had a power snooze for about fifteen minutes.  It was great.

When my girls were that young, I had so much energy.  We’d go for walks, I’d be down on the floor playing with them and I’d include them in everything I did.  I remember taking Allison camping when she was the same age as this little boy – I could not even imagine doing that now.

I think I’m really glad now that my kids are teenagers – at least the exhaustion I’m feeling is more emotional now than physical.  It would be nice if I was young again AS WELL as my girls – we did have a blast.  We are at a very different chapter in life now.  It’s like we’re in transition from them being in school to being in the real world.  They are very much both thinking of their lives after school.  I would love to see them get exactly what they are dreaming for.

Once they get settled into their careers/jobs, then I suppose they will move onto thinking about finding a life partner and having their own children.  I must confess – and it’s a secret now – I am very excited of the thought of becoming a grandmother.  I won’t lie.  It actually makes me feel all giddy and bubbly inside.  I hope they find someone who will take care of them and not hurt them.  I sometimes worry about Amy and her choice of a boyfriend and future partner.  She’s so much like me in that way.  I think she will attract the broken ones like I did.  She’s a very warm and caring person who wants to help others.  I hope she finds a career that will allow her to satisfy her desire to help others.

I think Allison has someone with whom she gets along well with.  If they can stay together I think he’d make a good life partner.  I have to continue asking her if they get along because in the past she stayed with a guy who fought with her a lot because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings and break up.  She told me she needed someone who understands her and her emotions.  In the past she has suffered from bouts of depression and she tends to cry very easily.

Life just seems to have moved along quite quickly and I never really realized it until today when I was babysitting.  It just seems like yesterday my girls were that age and now they’re old enough to have their own.  I know it’s crazy thinking, but it’s true.  I think for now, I’ll try and get through the end of school, enjoy the summer and then watch as Allison enters college and Amy enters grade eleven – because before long, I’m afraid they might not need me.





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