My First Blog – tough day
I can’t honestly tell you how long I’ve been wanting to create my very own blog. I love to write and a few years ago I finished a book that took me all of 6 months to write. When I was finished there was a part of me that didn’t want it to end, but I think I picked the best place to stop.
Those chapters of my life are finished and I’ve been sitting around wondering what on earth could I write about now where there wouldn’t be an end. The other day, I thought of the perfect topic – raising children . It’s an ongoing book that I don’t ever see ending anytime soon. When your kids are babies people tell you how hard it is to sleep, keep them from crying, how you’re up all night with them teething, you’re constantly picking up their toys, cleaning baby bottles, etc. I would give my left arm to have those days back! Although, I’m still loosing sleep at night, at least they’re home in their beds. I would love to hear the crying of my baby girls … instead of the attitudes.
The teen years – an ongoing book, or a never ending battle?? I certainly know one thing, no one ever handed me a book on how to raise them so the only alternative is the never ending battle – or maybe I’ll just write my own book. Pfftt, I wouldn’t have a clue what to put.
Allow me to introduce my children (I’m on the fence about whether or not I want to use their real names – we have real issues that most parents and teens go through – I’m not trying to hide anything or embarrass any of my children – but yeah, I think I’ll use different names because at this ‘sensitive’ age, some things are just better left private):
Allison – 18
Colton – 17 (he’s my step son)
Amy – 15
Tim – 14 (step son)
So, today was a rough one and the motivation that has me sitting here writing. The community lost two teenagers today to a horrific car accident. The boys involved were 15 and 17 years old – so you can see why it hit an extreme soft spot in my heart and puts a lump in my throat each time I think about it. It could have been one of my own.
When your children are young you teach them about death and heaven and how peaceful it is up there. They ask about it early because animals, insects, pets, family members die – you teach them that it’s a normal life process. When a grandparent passes away you are there to help them through it and talk about the age thing and how nannie or grampie lived a long life and his/her time was up. How in the name of God do you explain death to them when it’s one of their peers?? Where is the book on that?? I don’t even understand it myself. How can you possibly explain something you just don’t get yourself? For the first time in my life I do not know what to say to my daughter – probably on a day where she needs me the most. I hope she can find answers and comfort with her friends – most of them knew the boys. I go into her room and want to talk to her, but all I feel is sadness and helplessness. Is this what my mother went through when I lost a dear friend of mine when I was just 13 years old? I remember crying a lot. I don’t remember talking to my mother about it. I don’t remember much except for how it made me feel. Oddly enough, I feel the same today. I’m feeling my daughter’s pain and her sadness. I don’t have any answers for her today. What happened was not fair.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I thank God every day for the children that I have – even the ones I didn’t give birth to. They will spend the day with their mother and I will get to spend the day with mine. We’ll visit my mom. This is actually one of my favorite days of the year – the best thing in life that ever happened to me was becoming a mother. Oh, it has it’s ups and downs, sometimes I even feel like running away – but like I said to my boyfriend, John, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I’m not sure how often I will be coming back to submit new posts – I’d like to think I could do it every day – but I am raising 3 teens (the 3 oldest live here) and no two days are ever the same. I do know I have a ton of things to talk about – I would even love to take up some discussions, share advice (PLEASE!), and listen to YOUR stories of raising your own teenagers. You’ll read about communication (the odd f bomb has been dropped a few times around here), learning to drive, eating disorders (or at least suspections of), drugs, vegetarianism, curfews, attitude problems, depression, anxiety, counseling, dances, self esteem (or there lack-of), bullying, graduation, birth control, sex, boyfriends, girlfriends, exes, etc. The list goes on … geesh, maybe I should write a book! Nah, I think this’ll be more fun …